America:

The country named after Girolamo Vespucci's little brother.

Legislator Trumps Schoolhouse Rock

by uncle romulus

OHIO – For years high school civics teachers have struggled to make information about the government and its processes more interesting to their students. They’ve tried everything from field trips and recycled overhead projections to the once popular Schoolhouse Rock videos. We all remember the struggle of the “bill on Capitol Hill” to become a law and his ultimate acceptance of his inability to do so. Maybe it was the controversy surrounding the nature of poor “bill.” Maybe he was earmarked with pork barrel spending or public funding for abortions. Who really knows (cares)?

Alas, one Ohio legislator decided to lead students into the uncharted territory of experimental educational techniques. What better way to understand how a bill becomes law than to associate it with something a high school student does understand – pornography?

Ohio Rep. Matthew Barrett had been invited to speak to a Norwalk High School senior civics class about the extremely boring process. Barrett was well into his Power Point presentation of how major corporations pay lobbyists to bribe legislators into crafting bills that will increase their revenues and decrease government regulations on their companies when a topless woman appeared on the screen.

“I was like, [expletive]. This dude should teach all my classes. I bet this is what college is like.” – Randy Travis Esptein, 20.

“I wasn’t planning on going to college until this very day, but now I am, and I’m majoring in Civics.” Arnold Andersen, 17.

Not everyone was as excited about the educational techniques of Mr Barrett. Some teachers and students have reacted poorly to the incident by calling Mr Barrett a pervert and referring to Mrs Johnson’s “cervix class.” However, enrollment for Mrs Johnson’s civics class has tripled for next semester.

“I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get kids to pay attention to civics for many years. If it takes a picture of a naked woman, so be it.” – Mrs Johnson, 68.

Mr Barrett takes no recognition for his advanced teaching methods but rather tries to avoid the prestige that it brings. He claims he knew nothing of the file containing that picture as well as many other pornographic pictures. He even took the data memory stick containing the file to the high school computer lab to have it investigated.

After several hours of private research conducted by their Computer Technology instructor, Mr Mitchell, he concluded that there was no way Mr Barrett could have known that the file labeled “Barrett’s Babes” contained pornographic images. Mr Barrett was still so embarrassed by the incident that he neglected to ask for the data memory stick back even though he clearly saw Mr Mitchell covertly slide the stick into his sock while pretending to tie his shoe.

editor@darkcornernews.com