Move Over Arafat; Here Comes Mad Max!

by k. hakis

MALIBU - Southern California is on fire again, and no sooner than the flames burned Mel Gibson’s Malibu mansion to the ground did everybody started playing the blame game.

According to Gibson, the fire was started in an “act of fiendish Jewery.” He further claims that the arson was filmed for an upcoming episode of “The Synagogue” (a Hebrew version of “The Office”).

However, the Jewish community is blaming Gibson. An unidentifiable Rabbi (they all look the same with their long beards) said, “It was another one of his ‘Booze, Babes, BBQ, Barbiturates, and Bottle Rockets’ parties. He calls them ‘B to the Fifth. I call them typical Gentile foolishness. I always knew they’d get out of hand.”

Gibson admits to shooting a bottle rocket into the dry scrub grass behind his Malibu home, but only after he saw a “Zionist in a camouflage yamaka with a flame thrower sneaking around, looking for an opening. They’re constantly trying to flank me, and this time I sent one of them to Abraham’s Bottom.” Upon correcting his error, (he meant Bosom) Mr. Gibson assumed the persona of Mad Max and chased me down the Pacific Coast Highway with a fist full of cherry bombs, screaming, “Go back to Zion!” I calmly informed him that I don’t go to Zion, I go to Mt. Lebanon.

California Jews have not refuted Gibson’s claims that he’s been accosted by armed members of their synagogues. “We are an ancient and proud people,” another unidentifiable Rabbi said, “and we won’t be made fools of at the box office. Or in the trades. Especially, The Hollywood Reporter. Malibu is our West Bank and Gibson is our P.L.O.”